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“For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord.
So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s.”–Romans 14:8
I know y’all are all probably wondering what in the world has happened to me.
The truth is, I’m starting to wonder what *HASN’T* happened to me and my family lately.
The past few months have been completely unbelievable, and I am honestly starting to think that we have either been cursed, are being attacked by demons, are being tested by God to our core, or that someone has made a voodoo doll of all of us and they hold our fate in their hands.
After my big announcement the other day (which I am so thrilled about I can’t even explain it and it still seems like a dream), things have been going well. I have started feeling better, I’ve gotten back in the kitchen and made a few recipes, and I totally planned to start blogging on my regular schedule again.
It’s funny how quickly things change.
A few days ago I received a phone call from my cousin who told me some news that I wasn’t prepared for. My paternal grandfather had somehow contracted an infection that had gotten into his blood, and there was nothing they could do to stop it. He was given only days to live. Out of nowhere and completely unexpectedly, I was going to lose a very special man who was very dear to my heart and who has been in my life for close to 32 years.
I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this before, but up until a few short years ago and this past Friday evening, I had been blessed with all four of my grandparents. Knowing that I have only lost 2 grandparents when many others can not claim the same is a blessing that I hold sacred, and I see it as my silver lining in the darkening sky…but it doesn’t make the pain go away.
Without going into too much detail and to protect the rest of my family, I will keep most of the details private. However, I will say that this has been a very hard and sad situation for my loved ones, and it has definitely put a damper on my mood as well as the mood of the others around me.
Between the major move to NC, my illnesses, my pregnancy, the death of my grandfather, as well as some personal business with some family members of which is not my place to discuss, I am incredibly overwhelmed with stress, anxiety, fear, depression, and emotion, and I have done what any southern woman in my situation would have done: I have snuggled and loved on my husband and our kittles and kissed them goodbye for a week, and I have run back home as quickly as I could to seek refuge and spend some much needed quality time with my mama and my daddy.
I love my husband more than anything on this Earth and I absolutely can’t wait to get back in his arms; however, there is no one who can comfort and console me more than my mama can. On top of all of this, my parents are also in the process of making a move from one home to another and with everything going on they haven’t had any time to pack. As moving day looms closer, it has now become my responsibility to help them out as much as I can while simultaneously nursing our broken hearts.
I can not apologize enough to you, my dear minions, for pushing this blog to the wayside lately, but at this point I’m not really sure if I could have done things any differently. Besides my marriage and our baby, this blog is one of the most meaningful and most important things in my life, and I can promise you that I have not and I will not just let it turn into a wasteland. My work here means more to me than I could ever put into words, and I honestly feel as if a small piece of my soul is suffering because my time is not being spent here.
I have not given up, I will not give up, and that I swear to you.
Please be patient with me, and I will have things up and running again soon.