I made you something special today.
Actually, I made us something special two days ago because the hubs and I wanted something sorta sweet to snack on before we drove to Raleigh for our cousin’s “Yellow Submarine” themed 3rd birthday party. Because, you know, we couldn’t be sure that a 3rd birthday party would be filled with sweet treats and yummy little goodies.
How were we supposed to know that they’d have two kinds of cake and sugary little John Lemon bars?
So I whipped up this grape and goat cheese galette drizzled with sweet honey and speckled with salty pistachios. Oh, yeah, and the grapes are soaked in port.
Making pies are the worst, y’all.
I loathe them, and I just don’t have the patience to deal with something as high maintenance as pie crust.
Patience is just not my thing, and you MUST have it if you want to make a pie correctly and have it coming out looking all pretty and junk. You also have to have a house that is cool which is something I also don’t have at the moment.
Papa F keeps the dang thermostat at 7 bajillion degrees so when I tried to make a blueberry cherry pie for 4th of July, the crust kept getting too warm and would stick to anything it would touch even though I used enough flour to make the counter look like a scene straight from Scarface.
I ended up flipping the eff out and stomping my feet and screeching like a 7 year old at that dad blame pie crust. I was seething mad and pouted for the rest of the day because it pissed me off so bad.
That’s why I will forever be making galettes or crostadas or lazy people pies, if you will.
The crust takes zero effort at all, and they always turn out perfectly! If you wanted to be extra special lazy, you could even use a store bought crust if you wanted.
I chose to use this grain-free and gluten-free recipe from Nourished (with just a few minor tweaks), and I have to say this almond flour crust will be my go-to from now on.
The crust is flaky but not finnicky and is crumbly yet holds together.
I chose to use a combo of goat cheese and ricotta as part of the filling, but I bet it would be absolutely amazeballs made with brie or even boursin. You could even mix and match the toppings and try some sweet peaches or plums before the summer fades away.
This recipe comes together pretty quickly, and you don’t have to bust out a rolling pin or a marble slab or any of that other mumbo jumbo needed for making the perfect pie crust.
It’s sweet enough for dessert, savory enough for breakfast, and the perfect treat to bake just because.
Drunken Grape & Goat Cheese Galette
For the gluten-free, grain-free galette crust:
For the filling:
- 3 cups seedless grapes whole, sliced in half or both
- 1 tablespoon port wine or grape juice
- 4 oz goat cheese softened to room temp
- 1/2 cup ricotta cheese
- zest and juice of one small lemon
- 1 tablespoon honey
- pinch of sea salt
For the Garnish:
- honey for drizzling
- 1/4 cup shelled pistachios roughly chopped
Add almond flour, coconut sugar, and salt to a food processor and pulse 4-5 times.
Drop in butter cubes and pulse until the butter is finely chopped and resembles small peas.
In a small bowl, whisk together egg and vinegar and, while food processor is running, slowly pour the egg mixture into the almond mixture until a soft dough forms.
Shape dough into a ball, wrap with plastic wrap, and refrigerate for 1 hour or freeze for 30 minutes.
Meanwhile, stir together the grapes and port in a small bowl and set aside.
In a separate bowl and using a stand or hand mixer, blend together the goat cheese, ricotta, lemon zest and juice, salt and honey until smooth then refrigerate until ready to use.
Once dough has chilled, preheat the oven to 375 degrees (F) and line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
Plop the dough on the paper and, using your hands, press and shape the dough into a large circle (about 12" or so), pinching and patting together any cracks,until it is about 1/4" thick.
Spoon cheese mixture in the middle of the crust and spread out in a circle leaving a 2" border around the edges.
Using a slotted spoon, place grapes right over the cheese mixture, again leaving a 2" border around the edges.
Gently fold the crust over the edges of the grape and cheese mixture, pinching any cracks together if needed and pressing and shaping as desired.
Bake for 30-35 minutes or until golden brown.
Drizzle with honey and sprinkle with pistachios then serve directly on the baking sheet.